500+ Amazing Funny Quotes, Captions, Sayings & Status

funny-quotes

A Collection of 500+ Amazing Funny Quotes, Funny Captions, Funny Sayings, Funny Status, Funny Lines, Funny Statements, Funny Sentences, Funny Phrases, Funny Taglines And Funny Punchlines. Laughter is the best medicine for a person to deal with serious situations. People of all ages and cultures like humor. Most people are able to experience fun and thus are considered to have a sense of humor. One of the simplest method to share your happiness with others is to share funny quotes, status, captions on Whatsapp, Facebook and other social media platforms.

Best Funny Quotes And Sayings

Fun plays a vital role into our life, you might have heard from doctors and other people that laughing increases blood in our body and is considered best for recovering from many diseases. Having fun is the main reason behind laughing, this means scientifically having good fun time makes us healthier. So keep laughing. Lets have a look at our shortlisted funny quotes, status and captions.

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Funny Quotes

  • I Am Not Lazy, I Am On Energy Saving Mode.
  • God Is Really Creative, I Mean.. Just Look At Me Every Time.
  • Hmmm….. Don’t Copy My Status.
  • Totally Available !! Please Disturb Me !!
  • Hey, You Are Reading My Status Again ??
  • My Style Is Unique Don’t Copy It Plz.
  • If Money Grew On Trees, Then Girls Would Be Dating Monkeys.
  • Life Is Too Short, Smile While U Still Have Teeth.
  • Your Status Won’t Ever Match My Status, Neither In Whatsapp Nor In Reality.
  • I Love My Job Only When I Am On Holiday.
  • Life Is Too Short – Chat Fast !
  • Girls Use Photoshop To Look Beautiful & Boys Use Photoshop To Show Their Creativity.
  • Always Respects Yourself.
  • Save Water, Drink Wine.

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Funny Sentences

  • I’m Cool But Global Warming Made Me Very Hot.
  • Marriage Is The Cause Of Divorce.
  • I Just Need A Good WiFi & Wife.
  • I Only Need Three Things In Life : Food, WiFi & Sleep.
  • All My Life I Thought Air Is Free, Until I Bought A Bag Of Chips.
  • Try To Say The Letter M Without Your Lips Touching.
  • Scratch Here ###::::## To Reveal This Status..
  • When Nothing Seems Right Then Go Left.
  • If I Am Wired With You Then I Like You.
  • I’m Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.
  • Lazy Rule : Can’t Reach It. Don’t Need It.
  • If Stress Burned Calories, I’d Be A Supermodel.

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Funny Captions

  • As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.
  • There’s Always A Person That You Hate For No Reason.
  • If You Tickle Me, I’m Not Responsible For Your Injuries.
  • An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away, If You Throw It Hard Enough.
  • It’s Better To Be Absolutely Ridiculous Than Absolutely Boring.
  • You Don’t Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’ll Train You.
  • I Won’t Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food.
  • Sometimes You Just Want To Throw Fertilizer At People So They Grow Up.
  • My Room Is Not Messy, It Is An Obstacle Course Designed To Keep Me Fit.
  • Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed ?
  • I Don’t Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning.

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Best Funny Quotes About Friends And Friendships

  • Dear Maths, Please Grow Up & Solve Your Own Problems. I’m Tried Of Solving Them For You.
  • Long Time Ago I Used To Have A Life, Until Someone Told Me To Get Into Social Networking.
  • They Say That Love Is More Important Than Money, But Have You Ever Tried To Pay Your Bills With A Hug ?
  • People Say Everything Happens For A Reason, So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.
  • I Wish Falling In Love Has Traffic Lights Too, So That I Would Know If I Should Go For It, Slow Down, Or Just Stop.
  • If I Delete Your Number, You’re Basically Deleted From My Life.
  • Some People Need To Open Their Small Minds Instead Of Their Big Mouths.
  • Save Water Drink Beer.

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Famous Funny Sayings And Lines

  • I Love My Job Only When I’m On Vacation.
  • I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition.
  • Get As Rude As Possible And Don’t Let Anyone Tell You How To Live.
  • The Only Reason I Am Fat Is Because A Tiny Body Couldn’t Store All This Personality.
  • Don’t Know Where Your Kids Are In The House ? Turn Off The Internet And They’ll Show Up Quickly.
  • This Dog, Is Dog, A Dog, Good Dog, Way Dog, To Dog, Keep Dog, An Dog, Idiot Dog, Busy Dog, For Dog, 30 Dog, Seconds Dog ! … Now Read Without The Word Dog.
  • Exercise ? I Thought You Said Extra Fries !
  • I Don’t Follow Others, I Only Follow My Orders Because I Am My Own Boss.
  • My Attitude Is Based On The Way You Treat Me.
  • I Don’t Have An Attitude Problem, You Have A Perception Problem.
  • Last Seen 1980 !

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Best Ever Funniest Quotes Of All Time

  • Lets Play Titanic, You’ll Be The Ocean And Ill Go Down On You.
  • You’ve Got 206 Bones In Your Body, Want One More ?
  • Can I Borrow A Kiss? I Promise I Give It Back.
  • How Do You Like Your Eggs ? Poached, Scrambled, Or Fertilized.
  • Go To Heaven For The Climate And Hell For The Company.
  • Be Nice To Everyone. You May End Up Working For Them. We All Could.
  • Crying Is For Plain Women. Pretty Women Go Shopping.
  • I Don’t Have A Girlfriend. But I Do Know A Woman Who’d Be Mad At Me For Saying That.
  • The Problem With Life Is, By The Time You Can Read Women Like A Book, Your Library Card Has Expired

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Funny Taglines, Funny Punchlines

  • I Like Nonsense. It Wakes Up The Brain Cells.
  • My Way Of Joking Is To Tell The Truth. It’s The Funniest Joke In The World.
  • I Don’t Go Crazy. I Am Crazy. I Just Go Normal From Time To Time.
  • Whoever Said “Nothing Is Impossible” Clearly Never Tried Slamming A Revolving Door.
  • Every Rule Has An Exception. This Rule Is No Exception.
  • Girl, You Better Have A License, Bcoz You Are Driving Me Crazy !
  • People Who Exercise Live Longer, But What’s The Point When Those Extra Years Are Spent At Gym.
  • Light Travels Faster Than Sound. That’s Why People Appear Bright Until They Speak.
  • Everybody Wishes They Could Go To Heaven But No One Wants To Die.

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Funny Quotes To Live By

  • The Only Time Success Comes Before Work Is In Dictionary.
  • A Lie Gets Halfway Around The World Before The Truth Has A Chance To Get Its Pants On.
  • The Richer You Get, The More Expensive Happiness Becomes.
  • Beautiful People Are Not Always Good, But Good People Are Always Beautiful.
  • Just Because I Don’t Care, Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Understand.
  • People Say Everything Happens For A Reason. So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.
  • There Is No “I” In Team… There Is However An “I” In ‘Win’, ‘Achievement’, ‘Prevail’, ‘Triumph’, ‘First Place’, ‘Gold Medalist’ And ‘Champion’.
  • Every Problem Comes With Some Solution… If It Doesn’t Have Any Solution, It’s A Girl !
  • They Pretend To Pay Me. I Pretend To Work !
  • First I Played Hard To Get, Now He Is Playing Hard To Forget.
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Top Funny Quotes Of All Time In English

  • Don’t Be Too Optimistic. The Light At The End Of The Tunnel May Be Another Train.
  • I Saw A Shampoo With The Title : “Rich Looking” So I Washed My Purse.
  • I Know I’m Not Perfect, I’m Vintage, Which Means My Flaws Make Me Priceless !
  • The Person You Love Is 72.8% Water.
  • If There Is A “Will..” There Are 500 Relatives.
  • I Work For Money, For Loyalty Hire A Dog.
  • Read Books Instead Of Reading My Status.
  • Don’t Be Too Open Minded, Your Brains Will Fall Out.
  • Behind Every Great Man Is A Woman Rolling Her Eyes.

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Best Funny Quotes, Comedy Jokes About Life

  • Laughter Is The Best Medicine. But If You’re Laughing Without Any Reason, You Need Medicine.
  • True Friends Don’t Judge Each Other. They Judge Other People Together.
  • Only Two Things Can Change Women’s Mood : 1- I Love You, 2. 50% Discount.
  • Don’t Move, I’ve Lost My Mind.
  • Relax, We Are All Crazy It’s Not A Competition.
  • When You Really Want To Slap Someone, Do It And Say ‘Mosquito’.
  • When Everything Comes Your Way.. Then You Are On The Wrong Way.
  • She’s So Fake, If You Look Behind Her Neck. I Bet It Says “Made In China”.
  • Don’t Kiss Behind The Garden, Love Is Blind But The Neighbors Are Not.
  • His Story Is History, My Story Is Mystery.

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Hilariously Funny Quotes For Humorous Thinking

  • Smile Today, Tomorrow Could Be Worse.
  • If You Don’t Succeed At First, Hide All Evidence That You Tried.
  • Never Test How Deep The Water Is With Both Feet.
  • When Inspiration Does Not Come To Me, I Go Halfway To Meet It.
  • Sometimes You Succeed…. And Other Times You Learn.

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Best Funny Captions, Statements, Status And Quotes To Live By

We hope that you might have find our list of 500 Amazing Funny Quotes, Captions, Sayings & Status helpful in finding your next funny quotes, status or captions for posting updates on Whatsapp, Facebook and other social media platforms. We are thankful to you for spreading fun with everyone. Be a reason someone smiles today.

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